Script to Film – The Shawshank Redemption

It is undoubtedly fascinating to analyse films, but it is just as interesting to look at the screenplays that they were filmed from.  In this feature, we will be looking at how key scenes from a movie are depicted in the original script. Sometimes, the film and script are very similar, but there can also be some substantial differences, especially if the script is an early draft.

For the first “Script to Film” article, we will be looking at The Shawshank Redemption. The script for the film can be accessed below:

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Shawshank-Redemption,-The.html

Who Wrote It?

The script for The Shawshank Redemption was written by Frank Darabont, who directed the film, and was based on the short story “Rita Haywoth and the Shawshank Redempton” by Stephen King.

How Long Is It?

The Shawshank Redemption is 142 minutes long, including credits.

What’s It About?

The Shawshank Redemption follows Andy Dufresne (Played by Tim Robbins), a banker who is falsely convicted for the murder of his wife and her lover, and sentenced to life without parole in Shawshank Prison.  There, he forms a friendship with fellow prisoner Red (Played by Morgan Freeman). Used as by the corrupt Warden Norton (Played by Bob Gunton) as an assistant to cover up his money laundering, Andy bides his time in prison, never losing hope in the possibility of being free.

Script to Film – The Shawshank Redemption

(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

First Night – The brutality of Shawshank Prison is highlighted in Andy’s first night there, as the long-serving inmates take bets on which of the new prisoners will break down crying. One scene that was in the script but not the film shows various new inmates terrified by their menacing surroundings. Whilst this effectively illustrates how difficult it is adjusting to life in prison, it was felt to be unnecessary. The voices of the various prisoners demonstrate the same effect as they “carry on, sly and creepy in the dark”. This creates an ominous atmosphere, and by showing the prison as a whole instead of focusing on specific inmates, makes the viewer feel like they are inside as well, which emphasises the confined the prisoners at Shawshank are.

The sadistic head guard at Shawshank, Captain Hadley, responds to the breakdown of one anxious, overweight prisoner by viciously beating him, causing his death. In the script, this act of violence is depicted in a manner that emphasises its barbarity and suggests how common it is in the prison; “All we hear now is the dull THWACK, THWACK, THWACK of the baton”. As well as showing the brutality of the act, this monotony also demonstrates detachment, as all the prisoners can do is look on in horrified silence.  The film keeps this disengagement by depicting the scene in extremely low lighting. This emphasises Hadley’s savage nature and sets up the prisoner’s lack of freedom and independence perfectly – any instinct to act against this abuse of power was quashed a long time ago.

Brooks Outside Jail – One of the saddest moments in the film centres on Brooks (Played by James Whitmore), an elderly prisoner who finally gets released after decades in prison. However, he is unable to adapt to life outside, and soon hangs himself. Brook’s disorientation in the outside world is depicted in the script through descriptions, such as a memorable one which depicts his arrival at a halfway house with the words “He just stands there, like a man waiting for a bus”. In the movie, this is shown through close-ups, as the confusion and fear on Brook’s face is expressed perfectly by Whitmore. No matter how good a scene is in the script, it requires a skilled actor to make it work. However, a strong script is essential for encouraging a great performance, and here both elements are present.

The other affecting part of the sequence is Brooks’ narration, as it becomes increasingly clear that the letter that he has just sent is a suicide note. The rapid pace of change in American society – the automobiles that Brooks considered a novelty when he was young are now everywhere – contrasts with the unfading routine of prison life, and Brooks finds himself unable to understand or comprehend it. As Brooks speaks, we find out the extent to which he is lost without the rigidity of the system  that has defined the majority of his life– he is even willing to commit a crime just so he can go back to Shawshank. In this context, the Voice-Over provides insight into Brook’s thoughts and motivations and sets up the ensuring tragedy, allowing it to be even more powerful.

Playing Beethoven – One particularly iconic scene highlights Andy’s commitment to providing hope for himself and his fellow prisoners. In it, he finds the collection of books and records donated to Shawshank by the government. He takes out a Mozart record and plays it, hijacking the prison’s sound system so he can broadcast it to all the prisoners. The power of the record is set up by Andy’s reaction to discovering it. According to the script; “It is a thing of beauty. It is the grail”. This powerful language shows that, in prison, something as mundane as a record of classical music can have a potent effect. 

The effect that the music has is highlighted through a combination of description and dialogue. We see numerous scenes of inmates throughout Shawshank stopping to listen. Throughout the prison, the monotony of daily life has been disrupted by something that is new and unfamiliar to the majority of inmates, and therefore memorable and exciting.   Red’s narration makes the significance of Andy’s rebellious gesture clear to the audience, as he states that whilst the record was on, “Every last man at Shawshank felt free”. The importance of providing hope in a place where hopelessness dominates is one of the central themes of the story, and the use of classical music is an effective way of emphasising this.

Tommy’s Death – Norton crosses the line from being merely corrupt into an outright villain when he orders the murder of Tommy, an inmate who has evidence that could prove Andy’s innocence. The impact of the scene is magnified by the lead-up to the murder, as Norton arranges a secret conversation in the prison car park.  Because we know that Norton does not want the evidence of his corruption to come to light, his show of helpfulness is unnerving, as most of his apparently sincere dialogue (“The right decision. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what it is, understand?”)  takes on an entirely different meaning that Tommy is entirely unaware of, as he answers Norton’s questions innocently and earnestly. This Scene relies on the audience knowing that something bad will happen, but not being able to figure out exactly what until it is too late. This generates suspense and ensures that they remain interested.

The deed itself is depicted in the script in a vivid and shocking manner that contrasts with the matter-of-fact depictions of violence from earlier in the film. The gunfire is shown in graphic detail “Chew[ing]” Tommy “to pieces” until he falls to the ground in “A twitching, thrashing heap”. This brutality highlights how horrific and senseless the murder is, and reveals just how far Norton will go to prevent the truth surrounding his activities to get out. It makes us root for Andy to break free and expose him, but highlights the fact that he has to do so quickly, thus increasing the tension in preparation for the climax.

The Escape – The Shawshank Redemption’s famous climax depicts Andy’s escape from prison through a tunnel that he slowly created throughout the period he spent incarcerated. The guards’ reaction to this is one of initial confusion, which is conveyed through the sentence “Their faces go slack, stunned”. This alliteration shows the reader that the event that has just occurred is a very significant and shocking one. This bewilderment soon turns into blind panic, as they inspect everything in the room “As if Andy might be hiding in a Kleenex or a tube of toothpaste”. This shows how surprising Andy’s escape is, and leaves us wanting to know how it happened, setting up the final reveal.

Andy’s escape plan is portrayed as a twist. We are not aware of it at the time, but when we find out about it, every detail makes perfect sense. Red highlights this in his narration, likening Andy’s interest in geology to his escape, as the two things most important to both are “Pressure and time”. This reinforces the key themes without seeming too on-the-nose, and makes Andy’s escape even more satisfying.

Verdict

The Shawshank Redemption owes its status as a modern classic to a strong script brought to life by a talented cast and crew. It provides us with a number of feelgood scenes, but also contains several dark and violent ones. This balance of optimism and gritty realism ensures that the film never seems false or preachy, and the happy ending feels earned. The riveting storyline, the creative descriptions and the memorable characters ensure that the script stands out, and Frank Darabont brings it to life without reducing the quality. Therefore, both the script and the film are essential for budding screenwriters.

Unproduced Scripts - Mermaids

The unproduced script we will be reviewing this time is called Mermaids, and can be accessed below:

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/screenplaymermaids.pdf

Who Wrote It?

Garry Hicks.

How Long is It?

The script is 106 pages long.

What’s It About?

Four friends, The unemployed Brandon, Doctor Kyle, businessman Derek and recently-fired builder Sean,  head out on a long vacation. Taking a ship belonging to Derek’s dad, they sail into the Bermuda Triangle, looking for mermaids and pirate treasure. The four are attacked by a group of sirens, led by the tyrannical Nemeritas. Sean is kidnapped by the Sirens, but the other three are rescued by a group of Mermaids, who are led by the benign Lorelei. As Brandon, Kyle and Derek seek the Mermaids’ help in finding Sean, Sean attempts to escape from the siren’s island with the help of Nemeritas’ adopted daughter Chiron.

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5 Screenwriting Lessons – Mermaids

(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

Create a Unique Mythology – Mermaids have fascinated people for centuries, and as a result, they have been depicted in numerous works of fiction. This means that the stories featuring them have to do something unusual and interesting to stand out. In this script, the Mermaids are depicted as a benign race, whilst the Sirens are depicted as a hostile enemy. This is a clever idea, as it highlights and plays with the fact that mermaids were initially seen as predators who would lure sailors to their doom, a perception which originated from the depiction of Sirens in Ancient Greek works.  

Both sides have unique cultures and unique powers. The Mermaids have dreams that can predict the future and have the power to communicate with animals. The Sirens have shark-like teeth and the ability to control people. These quirks reflect the nature of both species perfectly – the powers of the Mermaids show that they are gentle, but also scared of their enemies and the powers of the Sirens emphasise their predatory traits. If you are depicting supernatural beings in your script, you need to adhere to the basic rules regarding the species, but apart from those, you can do anything you wish with them.

Develop the Characters – Of the various prisoners on the Siren’s Island, the one who is most developed is Joshua. His disappearance is mentioned early on in the story, he is the most experienced prisoner and he is the one who kills Nemeritas. He also has an interesting backstory, as he tells some of his fellow prisoners how difficult it is to work towards freedom without knowing if he can obtain it, and his emotional reconciliation with his daughter at the end of the film is one of its most powerful scenes.  However, he doesn't get introduced until the 76^th page, which reduces his character development, and ensures that he seems like a deus ex machina who exists solely to save the day.  Characters who influence the outcome of a story should be introduced early on, especially if they have a developed personality and an interesting background, as Joshua does.

Of the four main protagonists, Brandon stands out as the leader of the group. He is the first one to be introduced, and is the most interested in the idea of mermaid mythology. Once with the Mermaids, he spends a significant amount of time interacting with them. He also builds up a romance with Lorelei’s daughter Treena. Whilst it is love at first sight for him, the growing relationship receives plenty of attention, and ends with Treena choosing to join the human world. The fact that Brandon is the member of the group with the greatest role shows that even in large groups of protagonists, there has to be a distinctive leader to help us get into the world of the script.

Ensure That the Action is Spectacular – Mermaids has two big action sequences. The first of these sees Brandon, Derek and Kyle explore the ocean on dolphins and get chased by sharks. The sharks are depicted as advancing with “Big teeth, moving fast”. This description makes the sharks menacing, as it depicts their advance in a manner that highlights its inevitability and increases the suspense of the scene as a result.

The climax, which sees the mermaids and sirens battle over Sean and Chiron’s fate, represents a far bigger and more important action scene. The big fight is depicted in short sentences loaded with commas. The style of fighting, with Mermaids launching themselves at the Sirens “Like A guided Missile” is fast-paced but coherent, with frequent pauses to show how many combatants are remaining. This makes it easy to follow, in spite of the large numbers of combatants. Therefore, it proves to be a memorable sequence, as it is simple but developed with enough detail to stand out.

Make Sure That the Scenery Stands Out – stories and films about mermaids are often defined by their vivid and evocative depiction of the ocean scenery. This script is no exception, as it features a scene where the Mermaids take Brandon, Derek and Kyle on a journey under the sea. The diversity of the underwater life is depicted in a manner that shows how amazing it already is, as the protagonists meet and interact with Sea turtles, octopuses, and “Other amazing things”. This highlights the fact that the sea is naturally beautiful and fascinating, and makes it easier to imagine what an experience it is to see up close and personal.

The script also places a good deal of emphasis on depicting the island which the Mermaids and Sirens inhabit. The mermaid’s island, Artagatis, is defined by the “lush green plants” and “hanging fruits”. Conversely, the siren’s island is shown to have “half the vegetation” and “Old, wrecked, pirate ship”. These descriptions give us an insight into the characters inhabiting the islands. The Mermaids are a peaceful species at one with nature, whilst the Sirens are destructive scavengers. Even the simplest descriptions of a place can convey the personality of those inhabiting it, and this should be emphasised when thinking about how to depict a location.

Have a Firm Grasp on Tone – One of the major flaws with this script is its tonal inconsistency. In many ways, it resembles a story aimed at children. The heroes are purely good, and the villains are purely bad. The most complex character is Chiron, who is torn between obeying Nemeritas and her growing feelings for Sean. However, the third act revelation that she is in fact Lorelei’s missing daughter makes the story seem a bit too simplistic, as it highlights the fact that everyone on both sides is depicted in a simple and unambiguous light.

The story also has a rather immature sense of humour. There are several references to flatulence and other pieces of toilet humour that are more likely to appeal to children than adults. This would be less of a problem if the characters were younger, but they are all adult males in their thirties. This makes them seem a bit juvenile and therefore less likeable. Furthermore, one of the main themes is the prospect of mating, as the Sirens kidnap Sean so that he can impregnate Chiron, and the mermaids want Kyle, Derek and Brandon to generate children for them. This is hardly an appealing subject for children. However, the majority of the script seems to be focused on a family audience. There is little violence, and the language is not as crude as you would expect from the four protagonists. This ensures that the project is stuck between a rock and a hard place, as it is neither edgy enough to attract a teenage or adult male audience, nor is it entirely suitable for young children.

Verdict

Overall, Mermaids is not a particularly strong script. It has a good storyline and succeeds in depicting the oceans and islands on which the story is set in a vivid manner. However, it has a number of weaknesses. With the exception of Joshua and Chiron, none of the characters are particularly interesting, and the script isn't funny enough and is low on action, although the few action sequences are described well. Furthermore, it can’t decide whether to aim for children or adults, and would have been better if it had gone for a single audience. Whilst its depictions of mermaids are imaginative and the scenery is colourful, it is often derivative and weak. With a bit more effort invested, it could have been a highly enjoyable family film or raunchy adult comedy, but it ultimately turns out to be a sophomoric disappointment.

Unproduced Scripts - Offline

The unproduced script we are reviewing this time is called Offline, and can be accessed below:

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/Offline.pdf

Who Wrote It?

Gary Rowlands

How Long is It?

The Script is 98 pages long.

What's it about?

When troubled teenager Dave Fletcher is hit by a van, he wakes from his near-death experience with two broken legs. Confined to bed, he whiles away his time on a computer and soon strikes up a relationship with Debbie, an online model. However, he soon finds out that she has been murdered by a serial killer and her ghost will be unable to rest until the culprit is caught. This sets Dave on a race against time to find the "Lunar Looney" before they strike again at the next full moon.

5 Screenwriting Lessons - Offline
(The Following May Contain spoilers)

Confining the Characters Increases Tension - The idea of a murder mystery with a bedridden protagonist is not new - the concept was famously used in Hitchcock's iconic thriller Rear Window. The reason why it is so effective is that it puts the protagonist at a disadvantage. How can you investigate if you are unable to go out and physically search for evidence? Offline allows Dave to search for evidence by making him a computer expert. He once got into trouble for hacking the database, and he uses his technology skills to find information on the case and suspects. In the end, this allows him to find out that Trexler is the killer, as he spots inconsistencies in her statements on the case that reveal how much she actually knows about it. The fact that Dave's disabilities are balanced out by his intellectual capabilities makes him an interesting protagonist, as he is immobile but rarely helpless.

Ensure That the Red Herrings Feel Plausible - One problem with murder mysteries is the fact that it can be too easy to figure out who the killer is, especially if there are few characters in the film. Offline does not have many characters, so the need to reduce predictability is especially important. Apart from the wholly innocent Debbie and a mystic who tries to give out terrified information, everyone else in the script, even Dave is a possible suspect. Two of the potential perpetrators are completely unseen, reduced only to images on a computer screen. Although their status as Red Herrings is to be expected (You don't introduce a character just to prove them guilty) they would be more interesting if they were better developed and more involved in the action. Given that the confined nature of the story is one of its biggest advantages, the best way to handle this would be through online chats that allow Dave to interrogate the suspects in spite of the fact that he is confined to his bed.

One very effective red herring is the mysterious trucker who resurrects Dave at the beginning of the story. With his scary appearance and terrifying tattoos, he looks like a surefire antagonist. This is compounded by the creepy nature of his van, and the fact that we see bloody hands against the window, setting him up as someone to fear. At the end, we find out that the character is the Grim Reaper himself, and his van takes evildoers to hell, but he is an antihero rather than a villain. It is implied that he resurrected Dave so that the killer could be found, and he finishes by scaring away the demon that Trexler unleashed, restoring the dominance of good. This shows how an apparent stock villain can turn out to be a far more interesting and unconventional character.

You Need To Root For Your Protagonist – Because he is the sole protagonist, it is important for audiences to be able to root for Dave in order to enjoy the script. This is managed in a number of ways. For example, his relationship with Debbie provides him with depth and likeability. It begins with an awkward meeting on the Internet, but the two are soon chatting about a key interest that they both share; horror films and thrillers such as Memento. Within a few days, Dave is confiding his personal secrets to her. The progression of this relationship feels sweet and truthful, so When Dave finds out that Debbie has been dead for over a month, the revolution has an effect because we have grown interested in their romance, and the fact that it will never be able to continue is a devastating shock.

There are a few instances where Dave commits questionable actions, such as contemplating whether to stab his stepmother Linda in a brief period where he thinks that he is guilty of Debbie's murder. Whilst we are disgusted by what he has considered doing, Linda's mentally unstable and abusive nature (She has withheld his pills and destroyed all of his prize possessions) makes his behaviour easy to understand. Furthermore, when Dave realises that he can’t do the deed in spite of the hatred he feels towards Linda, we realise that he certainly would not murder anyone else and is therefore innocent, which makes it easier to support him later on.

Keep the Tension High, Even During the Climax - Whilst Offline is generally an effective script, the least impressive part is the climax. The twist, that the seemingly friendly Detective Trexler is the killer (She has also been playing the part of the helpful medium Mei), makes sense in retrospect, but the final act sees her give a clichéd rant about why she committed her crimes. Whilst her complicated scheme is explained quickly and effectively by the fact she's a sadist, it would have been a lot more effective if we were let in on some aspects of her backstory without being told of them, such as the fact that she lost an eye and the fact that she is not a real cop. Reducing the time spent giving an evil monologue would have made Trexler a more interesting and less conventional villain.

Another weak point is the final battle between Dave and Trexler. It features Trexler using Dave's blood to open the gates of hell, which causes everything in the house (including the bed) to fly into the air and various disgusting items, such as faeces and flies, to surface. Whilst it is memorable, it is too over-the-top and gross, losing a lot of the subtlety and creativity that defined the previous two acts. Whilst the script depends on translating the horror of the supernatural to a poorly-maintained and dilapidated setting, scaring the viewer should be more important than making them feel disgusted. Because of the lack of subtlety, the climax never feels scary. Therefore, it lacks the impact that it should have had, given the quality of the first two acts.

Good Descriptions Can Make A Character Even More Interesting – One of the strongest aspects of the script is the description of characters. Dave is introduced with a mention of his “Angelic face”.  This shows that, in spite of his flaws, he will be a fundamentally good character and the audience should support him. This also applies to Debbie, who is depicted as vivacious and innocent. The mention of the song “Brown Eyed Girl” in the introductory description refers not only to her eye colour, but also to her lively nature. This sets her up as a likeable and appealing character, but also foreshadows the fact that something will happen to her (In this case, it has already happened) as she is too good to be true.

The descriptions are also used to further the mystery. When Detective Trexler is introduced, she is described as being “Quirky” and having a “Kind Face”. These descriptions make her seem like a friendly character similar to Debbie, and this means that the audience trusts her. As a result, the reveal of her true personality comes across as a surprise.

Verdict

For the most part, Offline is a strong script. The use of the supernatural allows it to put a unique spin on its conventional storyline, the descriptions are striking and evocative, and the characters are worth following. However, it loses a lot of its power in the third act. Whilst the twists are both unpredictable and logical, the villain spends too much time ranting and the final fight is overblown. However, Offline is still interesting to read, and with a few changes to the climax, it could be made into a very interesting horror thriller.

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Airplane!

Who Wrote it?

Airplane was written by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker. It was loosely based on the 1957 film "Zero Hour", which was written by Hal Bartlett, John C. Champion and Arthur Hailey (Who all went uncredited for Airplane).

How Long is it?

Airplane is 88 minutes long, including end credits.

What’s It About?

Airplane follows Ted Stryker (Played by Robert Hays), an ex-fighter pilot traumatised by an incident which occurred during the war. When he finds out that his ex-girlfriend Elaine (played by Julie Hagerty) is working in the cabin crew for a flight from Los Angeles to Chicago, he impulsively decides to book a seat on the same plane. However, trouble ensures when the passengers and pilots are taken ill with food poisoning. It falls to Ted to land the plane safely, with the help of Elaine, Dr Rumack (Played by Leslie Nielsen), a doctor dealing with the outbreak, an inflatable pilot called Otto, and the men on ground level in the control tower, including supervisor Steve McCroskey (Played by Lloyd Bridges) and Ted’s former commander Rex Kramer (Played by Robert Stack).

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Airplane!(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

Characters are Key to Comedy – Airplane is often regarded as a triumph of jokes over characterisation. Ted and Elaine are the sort of stereotypically good heroes often seem in the disaster movies like Zero Hour and Airport which Airplane parodies. However, the funniest jokes in the movie come from the various side characters. Like Ted and Elaine, they are based on stereotypes, but this makes them even funnier. From the Jive-talking grandma to the inappropriately precocious children, to Johnny, McCroskey’s hyperactive assistant, they all exist solely for the purpose of adding more jokes to the movie. However, these jokes are made even more memorable by the characters unique personalities.   

However, even the more serious characters are subject to some memorable running jokes. McCroskey starts out as a stiff and straitlaced character. However, as he follows Ted’s struggle, he begins to turn to his various addictions: Cigarettes, Alcohol, Amphetamines and Glue. When he starts sniffing glue, he goes off the rails, and leaves the film by diving through a window. The contrast between McCroskey’s initial tough nature and the bug-eyed, dishevelled maniac he turns into makes his deterioration even funnier. Much of the comedy in Airplane is based on extreme contrasts, and an authority figure losing their authority in such spectacular fashion is one of the funniest contrasts possible.

Setting Up a Joke Properly makes the Payoff Funnier – Fourth-wall jokes are common in comedies as zany as Airplane, but they are very difficult to pull off. However, Airplane has one particularly funny Meta joke concerning the casting of the famed basketball player Karem Abdul-Jabbar as one of the pilots, Roger Murdock. When a child is invited to see the pilots in the cockpit, he repeatedly asks Murdock if he is actually Abdul-Jabbar. Murdock continually denies it, until the child criticises his performance as a defender, at which point he breaks character and admits his identity. Later, when the food poisoning outbreak takes hold, he is seen wearing his signature goggles, and he has his LA Lakers shorts and socks on.  In this case, the joke works because it was properly set up. The revelation of Murdock’s identity is treated as a surprise, but it fits the anything-goes sensibility of the film perfectly.

Also on the plane is a seriously ill girl being flown to Chicago so she can receive a heart transplant. One of the air stewards decides to make her feel better by singing to her, so she gets a guitar from a nun and takes it to the patient. However, on the way, she accidently hits the head of various passengers with the guitar. This conditions us to expect an even greater mishap when she actually performs, and we get one – she accidentally knocks the girl's IV Line out and continues singing, unaware of the distress she’s causing, as the rest of the passengers sing along with her. The joke is hilarious because of the oblivious innocence with which she and her fellow passengers ignore the rapidly deteriorating condition of the girl. However, it would not have been as funny if were not aware of the stewardess’ short-sightedness from the beginning.

Never Forget the Rule of Three – The “rule of three” is often used in Airplane, referring to running jokes that are used exactly three times. The first time is set-up, the second reinforces the picture, and the third use is the punchline – subverting the routine for comedic effect. One running joke from the movie which relies on the rule of three concerns two passengers who communicate in “Jive talk”, which is translated for the viewer with subtitles. We see them communicate in Jive twice, and it’s funny on both occasions. On the third occasion, when one of the passengers is taken ill, the stewardess looks for someone who can speak Jive and translate for him. An old woman steps up to do the task, but soon she begins arguing with the “Jive Dudes”. The fact that she is even more proficient at the language than they are subverts the clichéd depiction of an old lady (Through the tough-talking Granny has become a stereotype in itself) and makes fun of the idea that Jive is a strange and exclusive language.

Another memorable running joke concerns the character of Dr. Rumack. As Ted prepares to land the plane, Rumack tells him “Good luck.  We're all counting on you”, and repeats the phrase during the landing. When Ted lands safely, Rumack enters the cabin and says the same thing a third time, completely oblivious to the fact that the danger has passed. This is funny because of the incongruity between the serious context when the line was used the first two times, and the peaceful state on the third occasion. The change in situation transforms the line from a clichéd piece of disaster movie dialogue into another very funny quote.

Don’t Forget the Little Details – Airplane primarily parodies the disaster movie Zero Hour, and is so blatant in its mimicry that the writers had to get the rights to remake Zero Hour so that they wouldn't run the risk of being sued for plagiarism. Two of Airplane’s most memorable running jokes were extensions of scenes and lines from Zero Hour. A line in which the Air Traffic supervisor says “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking” turns into the iconic sequence depicting McCroskey relapsing into his various addictions. The innocent nature of a sequence where a kid gets invited into the cockpit and talks to the pilots is memorably subverted, as Captain Oveur’s questions to the child become increasingly inappropriate. In both cases, throwaway moments from the original film are transformed into creative and funny sequences that give us a number of brilliant jokes and quotes.

The film’s tone is established with a simple but funny opening. The distinctive theme tune from the iconic movie Jaws sounds, as a plane’s tailfin cuts through the skies like a shark’s fin cutting through water. This is soon followed by a memorable running gag that occurs in the background, as two announcer’s state the same message simultaneously. However, they soon begin to get mixed up and give differing messages, leading to an argument between the two which reveals a personal relationship. These two jokes show that the comedy is wacky, easy to understand, and everywhere in the movie.

Remember to Take Some Things Seriously – One reason for Airplane’s success was the fact that the characters (With the exception of Johnny) take the ludicrous events that occur during the film entirely seriously. This is made particularly clear in a sequence at the end, where Kramer’s congratulatory message to Ted turns into a monologue that continues long after everyone has left the plane. It is delivered in a very serious manner by a very serious character, and he is unaware of how long-winded and silly it is, which maximises the level of humour.

Another aspect of the film that is funny because it is played (Relatively) straight is Ted’s backstory. Whilst his flashback sequences are as full of jokes as the rest of the movie, Ted’s main motivation is to get over his guilt regarding an accident in the war that claimed the lives of seven men. With the melodramatic music and voice overs, it resembles the typical hero’s journey in a disaster movie. However, it chooses to play typically dramatic moments for comedy which only the viewer is aware of. Ted’s memories of the ill-fated flight in the war are depicted through stock footage, and this is taken to its logical extreme, as the footage goes back in time to show us bizarre planes from the early days of Aviation. Whilst the viewer is aware of how artificial Ted’s central conflict is, he is not, and this makes the parody seem more sincere, and therefore funnier.

Verdict

Although parody films have gained a bad reputation in recent years, Airplane still retains its status as one of the funniest and most quotable movies of all time. It plays on the earnest and melodramatic nature of disaster movies, and provides a number of zany jokes that demonstrate how well the writers understand the basic tenets of comedy. There is a wide range of jokes, from verbal to slapstick, they are set up well and delivered effectively, and the characters are all memorable. Whilst many jokes are dated now, a significant portion are just as funny as they were when the film was released. In a movie estimated to contain about 250 jokes, that is a major accomplishment.

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Guardians of the Galaxy

Who Wrote It?

Guardians of the Galaxy was written by James Gunn and Nicole Perlman, based on the Marvel comic book written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning.

How Long Is It?

Guardians of the Galaxy is 121 minutes long, including end credits.

What’s It About?

Guardians of the Galaxy is centred on Peter Quill (Played by Chris Pratt), a human who was abducted by aliens as a child. 26 years later, he is a Scavenger and thief known as “Starlord”. In one of his missions, he discovers a mysterious Orb, which he believes can lead him to a fortune. The orb contains the “Infinity Stone”, an extremely powerful weapon which can destroy entire planets, and is being sought after by Ronan the Accuser (played by Lee Pace), a fanatical member of the Kree race who wants to use it to destroy the people of the peaceful planet Xandar. Whilst attempting to sell the Infinity Stone in Xandar , Quill is caught and winds up in a giant space prison, where he meets four other prisoners: Rocky (Voiced by Bradley Cooper), a hot-tempered Racoon and bounty hunter, his sidekick Groot (Voiced by Vin Diesel), a giant humanoid tree, Gamora (Played by Zoe Saldana), the adopted daughter of Ronan’s boss Thanos, and Drax the Destroyer (Played by Dave Bautista), an alien who wants to avenge his family’s death at the hands of Ronan. The five are forced to form an uneasy alliance in a bid to thwart Ronan’s plans.

5 Screenwriting Lessons- Guardians of the Galaxy
(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

Pop Culture References Can Be Effective if Used Correctly – In Guardians of the Galaxy, pop culture references are used heavily, and help define the main protagonist, Quill. Quill owns a mixtape full of songs from the 1970’s, given to him by his late mother, and has a number of obsessions that he developed as a child on earth during the 80’s. These are showcased in a number of ways. In one memorable scene, he tells Gamora about the Kevin Bacon movie Footloose.  Furthermore, Quill has named his ship “The Milano” in an allusion to the 80’s television actress Alyssa Milano. These references serve to make Quill a more relatable character. Although he has lived most of his life in outer space, his interests remind us that he is essentially an ordinary earthman at heart.

There are also a number of references to contemporary issues, which are instantly recognizable to audiences. The villain Ronan is essentially a religious fundamentalist, angry that his people have made peace with the people of Xandar, and willing to destroy that planet in order to assert his people’s way of life on it. This ensures that audiences are able to connect with the movie, as the conflicts that take place in these faraway planets reflect those that highly important on this one.

Never Underestimate the Importance of a Character Arc- With the exception of the innocent Groot, the Guardians are all flawed, self-serving characters. During the course of the movie, they become considerably more selfless, as they learn to function as a team to protect the galaxy. This growing change is shown in a number of simple but effective scenes, such as one where Quill hands over his electronic helmet to Gamora so that she can breathe in space, and the distress Rocky feels when one of the pilots fighting for Xandar is killed by Ronan. Because we have grown attached to our unusual heroes, we have a greater interest in seeing them grow as characters, and therefore, when they exhibit a strong emotional reaction to something, we are Inclined to feel it too.

However, even with the changes in character, the protagonists still retain a number of their negative traits. This is evident at the end of the film, when the Guardians are rewarded for their heroism with the wiping of their prison sentences. Rocky and Drax are willing to push their regained freedoms pretty far, asking if their gives them the right to steal and murder. This shows that whilst the protagonists have changed for the better in various ways, many of their flaws are integral to their personalities and will therefore remain. Overall, the film succeeds in making the protagonists more heroic whilst keeping many of the imperfections that make them realistic and relatable.

Set-ups Have to Seem Natural – One of the more controversial scenes in the movie occurs at the climax, as Quill distracts Ronan by singing and dancing to one of the songs on his mixtape, allowing him to take the Infinity stone and use it to obliterate the villain. Whilst the scene lasts a bit too long, it makes sense for the character. In the opening credits, Quill is shown listening and dancing to another song as he roams a deserted planet looking for treasure. This obsession with dance is also showcased in his conversation with Gamora about Footloose at the movie’s midpoint. Therefore, the scene feels appropriate and fitting, even if it’s a bit embarrassing.

Another element carefully set up is the power of the Infinity Stone. It is first introduced when Quill obtains it and gets into a fight with some of Ronan’s men in the process. Its power is hinted at throughout the first half of the film, and finally revealed when the Guardians meet The Collector, a flamboyant alien who owns a collection of rare treasures and endangered species. During their meeting, one of The Collector’s slaves unleashes the power of the Infinity Stone in an attempt to destroy her master. The ensuing damage highlights the devastation that the Stone can cause, and shows that it is almost impossible to control, foreshadowing its use in the final confrontation with Ronan.

Create Vivid Worlds – The opening of Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the strongest sequences in the movie. It depicts Quill as a child in 1988, waiting in the hospital where his mother is suffering from cancer. The sequence is highly emotional because the pain, confusion and sadness that Quill feels is depicted in a vivid and powerful manner, yet still seems truthful and realistic. This ensures that when a spaceship arrives and take Quill, it has even more of an effect than usual, as the fantastical world of the aliens intrudes on the ordinary human world and the powerful tragedy that has occurred inside it.

However, the majority of the film is set on variety of alien planets. All of these are depicted in a simple and striking manner. The planet of Xandar is bright and modern, like a computer-generated rendering of a proposed modern new town or building project. Ronan’s warship is shaped like a bird of prey. The giant space prison is full of elaborate technology designed to keep intergalactic felons in line. These locations are highly memorable because they are based on clear and distinct images, and they provide an intriguing and colourful backdrop that helps to make the film even more interesting.

Create Unusual Characters – One of the selling points of Guardians of the Galaxy is the unusual nature of the protagonists. The two who are most unique are Rocky, a genetically-engineered racoon and Groot, a humanoid tree. They are introduced in Xandar, as Rocky makes disparaging comments about the various locals, and Groot drinks out of the water fountains. This establishes their personalities quickly and effectively. Whilst not quite as unusual, Quill, Gamora and Drax also have unique personality traits (For example, Gamora and Drax both take many of the expressions Quill uses literally). These stand-out features ensure that the Guardians are memorable characters, and make the viewer interested to see what happens to them.

However, the protagonists are certainly not the only quirky characters. The world-building of Guardians of the Galaxy extends to the various peoples and species on the numerous alien planets. Compared to the rest of the movies in the Marvel Universe, Guardians of the Galaxy is generally self-contained. With the exception of Thanos, introduced as a villain in Avengers Assemble, and a few minor Easter eggs, most of the elements here are new to the Marvel Universe. This movie does not require familiarity with the previous Marvel Movies in order to be fully understood. This increases its appeal, as it means that both hard-core Marvel fans and casual cinemagoers with no interest in comic books can enjoy it equally.

Verdict

Guardians of the Galaxy is an enjoyable blockbuster that represents another success for Marvel. In spite of its offbeat nature, it succeeds as mainstream entertainment because it is energetic and entertaining. It is simple to understand, but full of memorable worlds and characters. Most importantly, it balances spectacular visuals and explosive action sequences with interesting, well-developed characters. Overall, it provides a great example of how to do a summer blockbuster correctly.

Unproduced Scripts – The Microwaved Cat

So far, this blog has analysed a number of movies. All of them started life as a script, and over many months, they were slowly developed into films with the help of casts and crews of varying sizes, who refined the writer’s vision and transformed it into something which could be shown on a screen.

However, for every script that gets made into a movie, dozens remain unproduced. A large number of unproduced scripts can be found on sites such as http://www.simplyscripts.com/ and they can be just as valuable to trainee screenwriters as anything that has made it to the cinema. Today, we will be looking at The Microwaved Cat, a script which can either by accessed via SimplyScripts, or through following the link below.

http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/TheMicrowavedCat.pdf

Who Wrote It?

Vincent Cailly                 

How Long is it?

The script is 82 pages long.

What’s it About?

Patrick Gambetta is a man who specialises in filing frivolous lawsuits against any business that can generate injury. His Litigious ways have become a focal point of New Jersey’s local elections. One of the candidates comes up with a novel plan to discredit him. He books Gambetta into a family hotel ran by Dave Grinder. Grinder wants to replace his hotel with a larger one, so he has to do everything he can to prevent himself from getting sued. Therefore, he hires an actress, Lawrence Dansley, to be part of a scheme to keep Gambetta under control. However, as Gambetta spends time in the hotel, he and Dansley begin to fall in love.

5 Screenwriting Lessons from the Microwaved Cat(The Following May Contain Spoiler)

Don’t Spend Too Much Time “Laying Pipe” – In his book “Save The Cat”, the screenwriter Blake Snyder coined the term “Laying Pipe” to describe the set-up that occurs during a movie’s first act. If it manages to be simple and effective, then it will engage the audience and encourage them to keep to keep reading the script. However, if it is done badly, it can be confusing and boring. In the case of The Microwaved Cat, the amount of time spent “Laying Pipe” is a serious problem. The scenes at the beginning featuring the two candidates for governor are mostly unnecessary, as the subplot vanishes when Gambetta books into Grinder’s hotel and sets off the main story. The highlight of this opening sequence is a scene where a political advisor explains to schoolchildren why frivolous lawsuits represent such a problem and why they should be stopped (The script gets its provocative title from the example of a frivolous lawsuit used in the explanation, which depicts a woman cooking her cat in a microwave and blaming the people who manufactured it). It is funny, unique, and sets up the story in a way that the rest of the opening sequence doesn’t.

Another problem is the fact that we see little of Gambetta during the first act. In fact, the focus is largely on Grinder as he tries to prepare for Gambetta’s arrival. However, Grinder is the script’s antagonist, and, by focusing on him at Gambetta’s expense, it makes Gambetta seem less developed and less sympathetic. When you have a protagonist engaged in morally questionable activities in a generally upbeat romantic comedy, you have to try and get the audience on their side as quickly as possible. Therefore, an antihero like Gambetta should be front and centre at the beginning, so that the audience may begin to develop an interest in him.

Scripts Depend on Vivid Descriptions – One of the strongest points of this script is the vivid description. This is particularly apparent at the midpoint of the script, when Gambetta and Lawrence go to a fundraiser held by Grinder and his employees. At one point, Gambetta enrols himself as a volunteer in a high-risk magic act. The sequence is written in short, simple sentences full of ellipsis. This ensures that it is tense and engaging, and the relief when Gambetta avoids injury can easily be felt by the reader.

The descriptions of the characters are pretty vague. When Gambetta is introduced, only his age is given. We know nothing about his physical appearance, and this makes it harder to envisage him as a character. However, on several occasions, minor characters such as the Hotel Bartender have their clothing and hairstyle described in elaborate detail. This ensures that they are more memorable than the protagonists, which is always a serious problem. At the very least, the main characters should be depicted just as vividly, if not more so, than the supporting cast.

Don’t Push Jokes Too Far – One of the major themes of the story is the fact that danger is everywhere and the risks of accident are always high. This is illustrated in a running gag that occurs during the second act, as Grinder takes every possible step to prevent Gambetta suing him. One method he uses to keep Gambetta happy is placing stickers over almost every item in Gambetta’s room, warning against misuse and preventing people like Gambetta from looking for ways to sue over any potential injury the product may cause. Some of these, such as a sticker on a bible saying that “This is a work of fiction: Please do not take it seriously” are clever and funny, but the joke stretches for too long, As a result, it loses a lot of its impact as the script progresses.

Make Sure We Know Who to Root For – Gambetta is a very interesting idea for a protagonist in what is essentially a lightweight romantic comedy. However, at the start of the story, he is far too unpleasant to be appealing. He lives off the proceeds of unnecessary lawsuits have destroyed hundreds of lives, and appears to feel no remorse for his actions. Eventually, when he is dining with Lawrence, Gambetta reveals a sympathetic back story – His sister was severely injured as a result of a freak accident in a shopping mall. This gives us insight into why Gambetta is so keen to expose unsafe practises, but up to this point, he hasn’t seemed like a very altruistic character, so that revelation is hard to buy. If Gambetta had shown moments of compassion earlier in the script, for example donating money to his poorer victims, then he would have been a more appealing protagonist, and the revelations about him would have not felt like a transparent attempt to make us realise that Gambetta is supposed to be the protagonist and not the antagonist.

Conversely, the antagonist, Grinder, is a bit too developed. He has a very strong motive which is developed from the outset (He wants to break away from his father’s business and develop his own vision) and a lot of focus is placed on his attempts to stop Gambetta from getting himself injured. However, he is designed to be an unsympathetic character, trying to stop Gambetta’s behaviour for entirely selfish reasons, and often behaving in highly unethical ways. In one scene, he essentially tortures Lawrence by sticking wax strips to her eyebrows and ripping them off. In spite of this, Grinder is the most prominent character in the first act, and this means that readers are likely to regard him as the protagonist instead of Gambetta. Given that the audience are supposed to sympathise with Gambetta and not Grinder, this is a big problem.

Don't Rush the Climax – The first act finishes with Gambetta’s arrival on Page 32, whilst the second act ends with Lawrence and Gambetta realising each other’s secrets on page 65. It takes another four pages of set-up to reach the courtroom climax between Gambetta and Grinder. Conventional wisdom states that the first and third acts should each last about a quarter of the script’s length, and the second act should last half. The fact that the second and third acts are shorter than they should be damages the story significantly, as it ensures that Gambetta and Lawrence’s character development is rushed.

Furthermore, Gambetta is a very passive character in the climax, with his lawyer doing the talking for him. Whilst Lawrence demonstrates that she has as she admits her love for Gambetta, Gambetta remains a static character. His decision to drop his lawsuit is presented as a major change, but he still gets what he wants (Lawrence’s hand in marriage) without having to assess his beliefs or realise how wrong his actions have been. As a result, the potential to give Gambetta a strong and interesting character arc goes unfulfilled.

Verdict              

This script has several positive features. Some of the jokes are genuinely funny, and the story is unique and interesting. However, it is very rushed, with too much focus on the set-up at the expense of the other two acts. The characters, Gambetta in particular, are underdeveloped and not likeable enough to be engaging. This feels a bit like a first draft that, with a few big changes, could easily be turned into an enjoyable Hollywood comedy.