5 Screenwriting Lessons – Pride

Who Wrote It?

Pride was written by Steven Beresford.

How Long is It?

Pride is 120 minutes long, including credits.

What’s It About?

Pride is based on the true story of the LGSM (Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners) group that operated during the British miners’ strike of 1984-5. It is founded when a group of gay activists, including the young rebel Mark Ashton (Played by Ben Schnetzer) , the flamboyant Johnathan Blake (Played by Dominic West) and the inexperienced Joe (Played by George MacKay), come together during a Gay Pride demonstration and decide to raise money to help the fight the British government’s attempts to close the country’s mines. After numerous failed attempts to find support from the British Union of Mineworkers, the LGSM are allowed to come to the small Welsh mining town of Onllwyn to promote their cause. Once there, they make an impression on the initially reluctant townsfolk, and gain a number of friends, such as Dai (Played by Paddy Constantine) and housewife Sian (Played by Jessica Gunning). However the homophobic attitudes prevalent throughout Britain at the time, coupled with the difficulties that the miners face as their strike progresses, ensure that the LGSM’s cause appears doomed.

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Pride

(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

Every Character Should Stand Out – Pride contains a large cast of characters, all of whom are depicted in a vivid and memorable manner. The initial focus is on the individual members of the LGSM. Joe, who refers to himself as “Bromley” until the climax of the film, is unsure of his sexuality. Mark is a provocative radical, whilst Johnathan’s partner Gethin is more grounded and less flamboyant than other members of the group. All the members are given a number of strengths and weaknesses; for example, Mark is shown to become a bit too self-centred as the LGSM gain prominence.  As a result of this nuanced portrayal, the characters always seem real, enhancing the legitimacy of the story and increasing the viewer’s interest in it.

The diversity of the cast is also showcased in the village of Onllwyn. The inhabitants all have different outlooks and different reactions to their unlikely supporters. Dai is the first person to meet the LGSM, and takes to their approach quickly, giving an introductory speech for them at a gay club in London. Sian is the one who undergoes the strongest character arc, as she transforms from an ordinary housewife into one of the LGSM’s strongest and most helpful supporters. Maureen is the nearest thing to a human antagonist in the story (the main opponents are the background forces of Margret Thatcher’s Conservative government and the institutions that supported it) as she refuses to let go of her homophobia and clings onto her belief that the LGSM are only out for themselves. This wide range of responses from this cast of supporting characters allows the film to reflect the wider views of society at large, acknowledging the fact that those aiming to bring about change, such as the LGSM, will always have to face up to intolerance from individuals, but their ability to open up the minds of the wider community is all that matters.

Portray the Past Effectively – The film begins with stock footage depicting the protests that occurred during the miners’ strike. Miners are depicted engaging in peaceful rebellions and being attacked by the police, and we soon switch from this succinct introduction to scenes depicting the strike on the news as Mark watches. This sets up the main subject of the story, in which the rebellious masses will take on the might of the government. Whilst the strike is merely in the background, as the film zeroes in on a small group of people involved, it serves to mobilise the plot and the protagonists driving it, and is therefore a vital part of the story.

The effects of the miners’ strike also increase our understanding of the characters. The destitution experienced by the strikers and their families is conveyed in a manner that can be remembered by those who experienced it, and understood by the viewers who did not. At the Onllwyn village hall, the main prize in the bingo games is a tin of corned beef. This is usually regarded as a cheap item that few would eat out of choice, but the fact that it is such a valuable prize highlights how desperate the inhabitants are, and how they are trying to make the best of their situation.  The best way of depicting an important event such as the miners’ strike is to depict realistic characters coping with the effects of it in a truthful manner, and Pride succeeds in doing this.

Subplots Are an Integral Part of Any Film – Within the overarching story of the LGSM’s attempts to bring attention to the causes of both the miners and the LGBT community, there are a number of smaller subplots. The most prominent of these concerns Joe, whose conservative parents want him to study in a catering college. However, he actually wants to be a photographer, and struggles to see eye-to-eye with them. Over the course of the film, Joe learns to be more assertive and accept his sexuality, and his parent’s failure to understand this increases his desire to be independent. This struggle with adversity gives the story a human focus, and reflects the main theme of being open about your orientation even in the face of considerable opposition.

The message about being proud of yourself is also apparent in two secondary subplots. The first of these concerns Gethin, who tries to rekindle his relationship with his Christian mother. The other one follows Cliff, a respected member of the Onllwyn community, who eventually reveals that he is gay. In both cases, the characters decisions are accepted by those close to them. In spite of the ultimate failure of the miners’ strike, the overall tone of Pride is a triumphant one, and Gethin and Cliff’s ability to come out reflects this.

Changes in Mood Should Feel Natural – Pride has to balance both comedic and dramatic elements, and does this by contrasting them; an upbeat sequence will be followed by a serious setback that hinders the protagonists. Therefore, the emotional high of acceptance from the community is followed by the reveal that Maureen has told the tabloids about the LGSM’s presence, and the heartwarming scene in which Gethin’s mother comes to visit him in hospital, completing the subplot depicting their reconciliation, is followed by Johnathan’s admission that he is HIV positive. This alternation between increasingly positive and increasingly negative events creates a growing progression, and ensures that, instead of seeming like a constant stream of events, the film flows naturally, with a story that can follow the beats of a conventional screenplay structure perfectly.

The brutal nature of homophobia in the 80’s is summed up by an attack on Gethin that leaves him hospitalised as he goes out on his own to ask for donations. Whilst it is not actually shown, it is foreshadowed skilfully, with the warning that the LGSM members should stay together when trying to collect funds, and the attacks on Gethin’s bookshop earlier in the film. This ensures that when the lighting dims and the score turns ominous, the viewer can figure out what is going to happen without having to see it. As a result, the film is successfully able to depict the reality of homophobic violence without the jarring deviation from its overall tone that would have resulted from actually showing it.

Be Energetic - Pride’s approach and tone is reflected in its soundtrack, which is a mixture of protest songs and up-tempo 80’s pop. However, the music is more than just a way of setting the mood. It becomes particularly important during “Pits and Perverts”, a benefit concert set up by the LGSM in response to vicious articles from the pro-government tabloids. Enlisting the services of the electronic pop act Bronski Beat, they manage to gain large amounts of attention for their cause and money for the people of Onllwyn. This marks a significant milestone in the story, as a group of amateur activists founded only a few months before are able to recruit the services of band who, at the time, were one of the most popular acts in Britain. The ambition of the LGSM highlights their commitment to their twin causes, and shows that they are gaining increasing popularity and prestige as a result of this. Music is an important part of modern life, and the LGSM’s ability to connect with it allows them a simple and appealing way of proving that minority groups can make a difference.

Conclusion

Pride provides a unique perspective on one of the most important events in modern British history. It provides a wide range of characters who are defined clearly enough to stand out, but depicted in a manner that allows them to seem like real people instead of stereotypes. It makes good use of the period in which it is set, embedding the culture of the time into the story seamlessly. Most importantly, it provides large amounts of comedy and drama without letting either dominate the film completely. Generally, Pride is a good example of how two complex genres, the historical drama and the ensemble comedy, can be combined in a manner that is both enjoyable and appealing for a wide audience.

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Collateral

Who Wrote It?

Collateral was written by Stuart Beattie.

How Long is It?

Collateral is 120 minutes long, including credits.

What’s it About?

Collateral follows Max (played by Jamie Foxx), a cab driver in Los Angeles who has been working for years looking for a way to start his own business. His next guest is a mysterious man called Vincent (Played by Tom Cruise), who offers Max $600 to transport him to various LA locations over the course of a single night. Max accepts the offer, but finds out that Vincent is really a hitman contracted to murder five targets during the journey. Forced to continue anyway, Max struggles to find a way to escape as the night progresses.

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Collateral

(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

The Stakes Should Steadily Escalate – As Vincent carries out his five hits, Max is forced to become increasingly involved in his crimes as he tries to prevent them. However, at the start of the story, he is completely passive. The first hit happens in an abrupt and terrifying manner, as the corpse of the victim drops onto the taxi from a nearby window. Max panics when he sees this, shouting and swearing repeatedly, but when Vincent reveals that he was responsible, he does so with a nonchalant “Good guess”, that shows that his actions have not had any effect on him at all, proving that they are almost routine. This establishes Max’s status as a victim, as Vincent’s calm demeanour and his willingness to threaten others and commit violence to achieve his goals place him in complete control of the situation.  The only way that Max can escape from Vincent is if he manages to regain control, and this dynamic allows for increasing tension as the night progresses and his enemy gets closer to his goal.

Switches In Mood Are Important – Sometimes, an elaborate set-up can be used to increase suspense. A notable example of this is in the scene where Vincent carries out his third hit. Stopping at a Jazz bar, he invites the owner to join him and Max at the table and talk about why that genre of music means so much to him. However, when Vincent reveals why he is at the establishment, the scene turns dark abruptly, and the owner is forced to correctly answer a question about the iconic jazz musician Miles Davis, to save his own life. Hearing the owner discuss his backstory makes him into a more sympathetic character, and therefore the viewer wants to see him survive. The fact that Vincent kills him anyway him even more menacing, and highlights the fact that Max lacks the ability to face up to him properly.

Another tense sequence depicts Vincent entering a club to carry out his fourth hit, as a group of cops investigating the case try to execute a stakeout. The sequence is set to loud and up-tempo music and flashing lights. As Vincent tries to get through the crowd to his target and a disorientated Max attempts to escape, the noisy and energetic atmosphere becomes a major distraction. The contrast with the quiet and lonely nature of the majority of settings in the movie, such as Max’s cab, ensures that the club stands out, and its busy nature makes it harder for the characters to fulfil their objectives.

Both Heroes and Villains should be Complex – After he carries out his third hit, Vincent forces Max to stick to his night-time routine by visiting his mother Ida in hospital. However, in the hospital, he behaves with unexpected friendliness and warmth, persuading Max to buy flowers, and striking up a conversation with Ida. The sequence serves two purposes. First of all, it highlights Max’s central flaw, as Ida tells Vincent that “You’d have to hold a gun to his head to make him do anything”. It also makes Vincent seem more human, as he reacts to Ida’s questions with a polite awkwardness that appears genuine, even though he is faking his affection. This makes him even more unnerving, as it ensures it is hard to tell whether or not his statements can be trusted, making him even more difficult to understand.

Meanwhile, Max is defined by his major flaw – an inability to act. Whilst this is common to thriller protagonists, who are expected to start out as passive characters, Max has been spending twelve years waiting for an opportunity to seize his dream. After Vincent kills a policeman who had believed his innocence, Max calls him out on his sociopathic nature. Vincent responds by attacking Max’s cowardice, claiming that his big plans are never going to come to fruition, because he lacks the conviction to make them happen. This turns into an important scene in Max’s character growth, as he defies Vincent, deliberately crashing the cab to ensure that he cannot get to his fifth and final victim. The fact that Max initially lacks commitment means that when he chooses to act, his heroism has a far greater impact then it would if he was active from the beginning.

Make the Extra Characters Significant – The set-up of the movie depicts Max’s interaction with Annie, a friendly lawyer, as she takes his cab to reach her office. In addition to foreshadowing the climax of the movie, where Max has to take action to protect her from Vincent, it allows him to develop as a character and gain our interest. We find out about his dreams of starting a limousine company, and his kindly nature is highlighted when he allows Annie to keep his favourite photograph. Annie is also a well-rounded individual, as she listens sympathetically to Max, and tells him about the various problems she faces when working on her cases. This ensures that the audience wants the two to start a relationship, creating a reason for them to continue watching in the hope that they escape and get their happy ending.

Another character who manages to be memorable in spite of a lack of screen time is Felix, the mobster who has hired Vincent to carry out his various assassinations. Max meets him when he is forced by Vincent to assume his identity and find the information on the last two victims. Felix provides this exposition in the form of a monologue in which he compares himself to Santa Claus and Vincent to Black Peter, a figure who punishes naughty children.  This analogy is both childish and threatening, but manages to convey the key points effectively – Vincent’s targets represent a threat to Felix, and he is being hired to “punish” them. With his offbeat yet menacing personality and a brief mention of his family that serves to humanise him, Felix stands out as a unique and interesting character, and his delivery of the key information is highly intriguing. As a result, the information that Max and the audience need to know stands out, because it is being given in a manner that makes it worth hearing.

Make the Action Sequences Exciting – Because it focuses on characters and atmosphere in a bid to generate suspense, Collateral uses action sequences sparingly. However, when they do occur, they are intense in nature. Most of the violent scenes in the movie are due to the actions of Vincent, who casually carries out his various kills with a high level of brutality. Just after performing his second hit, Vincent returns to find that a pair of muggers have stolen his briefcase from Max. He follows them and shoots them both. Once he has retrieved the item, he notices one of the men writing in pain, and shoots again to finish him off. As well as setting up how important the briefcase is to Vincent, it shows that he reacts to setbacks with a cold efficiency, as the severity of his retaliation is unnecessary, even given the obnoxious nature of the victims and the potential repercussions of their theft. In a very brief and one-sided burst of action, the extent of the threat which Vincent poses to Max is made disturbingly clear.

After the slow-building tension of the first two acts, Collateral climaxes with an elaborate chase sequence, as Max tries to rescue Annie from Vincent. As Vincent cuts the electricity at Annie’s office, the darkness increases the tension of the scene, as it makes it harder for Annie to get out, and places her at a disadvantage. Meanwhile, Vincent uses mirrors to track his target, and this allows him to move without her knowing where he is and what he is doing. Vincent’s increased freedom in this confined space forces Max to react quickly if he wants to save Annie. In chase scenes, the villain should usually have an ability that makes it harder for the heroes to defeat them, and Vincent’s experience and composure make him a formidable opponent.

Conclusion

Collateral is a textbook example of how to make an efficient and engrossing thriller. It uses the classic formula of an initially uncommitted protagonist threatened by a unique and unyielding enemy and forced to take action. However, it does so in an original manner, with its focus on a well-developed lead character and an implacable but fascinating foe. The supporting cast is memorable, and the scenes are directed well, allowing for the escalation in tension that is integral to the story. Overall, it proves that the simplest thriller concepts can be the most impressive if they are well written and contain great characters.