5 Screenwriting Lessons – Collateral

Who Wrote It?

Collateral was written by Stuart Beattie.

How Long is It?

Collateral is 120 minutes long, including credits.

What’s it About?

Collateral follows Max (played by Jamie Foxx), a cab driver in Los Angeles who has been working for years looking for a way to start his own business. His next guest is a mysterious man called Vincent (Played by Tom Cruise), who offers Max $600 to transport him to various LA locations over the course of a single night. Max accepts the offer, but finds out that Vincent is really a hitman contracted to murder five targets during the journey. Forced to continue anyway, Max struggles to find a way to escape as the night progresses.

5 Screenwriting Lessons – Collateral

(The Following May Contain Spoilers)

The Stakes Should Steadily Escalate – As Vincent carries out his five hits, Max is forced to become increasingly involved in his crimes as he tries to prevent them. However, at the start of the story, he is completely passive. The first hit happens in an abrupt and terrifying manner, as the corpse of the victim drops onto the taxi from a nearby window. Max panics when he sees this, shouting and swearing repeatedly, but when Vincent reveals that he was responsible, he does so with a nonchalant “Good guess”, that shows that his actions have not had any effect on him at all, proving that they are almost routine. This establishes Max’s status as a victim, as Vincent’s calm demeanour and his willingness to threaten others and commit violence to achieve his goals place him in complete control of the situation.  The only way that Max can escape from Vincent is if he manages to regain control, and this dynamic allows for increasing tension as the night progresses and his enemy gets closer to his goal.

Switches In Mood Are Important – Sometimes, an elaborate set-up can be used to increase suspense. A notable example of this is in the scene where Vincent carries out his third hit. Stopping at a Jazz bar, he invites the owner to join him and Max at the table and talk about why that genre of music means so much to him. However, when Vincent reveals why he is at the establishment, the scene turns dark abruptly, and the owner is forced to correctly answer a question about the iconic jazz musician Miles Davis, to save his own life. Hearing the owner discuss his backstory makes him into a more sympathetic character, and therefore the viewer wants to see him survive. The fact that Vincent kills him anyway him even more menacing, and highlights the fact that Max lacks the ability to face up to him properly.

Another tense sequence depicts Vincent entering a club to carry out his fourth hit, as a group of cops investigating the case try to execute a stakeout. The sequence is set to loud and up-tempo music and flashing lights. As Vincent tries to get through the crowd to his target and a disorientated Max attempts to escape, the noisy and energetic atmosphere becomes a major distraction. The contrast with the quiet and lonely nature of the majority of settings in the movie, such as Max’s cab, ensures that the club stands out, and its busy nature makes it harder for the characters to fulfil their objectives.

Both Heroes and Villains should be Complex – After he carries out his third hit, Vincent forces Max to stick to his night-time routine by visiting his mother Ida in hospital. However, in the hospital, he behaves with unexpected friendliness and warmth, persuading Max to buy flowers, and striking up a conversation with Ida. The sequence serves two purposes. First of all, it highlights Max’s central flaw, as Ida tells Vincent that “You’d have to hold a gun to his head to make him do anything”. It also makes Vincent seem more human, as he reacts to Ida’s questions with a polite awkwardness that appears genuine, even though he is faking his affection. This makes him even more unnerving, as it ensures it is hard to tell whether or not his statements can be trusted, making him even more difficult to understand.

Meanwhile, Max is defined by his major flaw – an inability to act. Whilst this is common to thriller protagonists, who are expected to start out as passive characters, Max has been spending twelve years waiting for an opportunity to seize his dream. After Vincent kills a policeman who had believed his innocence, Max calls him out on his sociopathic nature. Vincent responds by attacking Max’s cowardice, claiming that his big plans are never going to come to fruition, because he lacks the conviction to make them happen. This turns into an important scene in Max’s character growth, as he defies Vincent, deliberately crashing the cab to ensure that he cannot get to his fifth and final victim. The fact that Max initially lacks commitment means that when he chooses to act, his heroism has a far greater impact then it would if he was active from the beginning.

Make the Extra Characters Significant – The set-up of the movie depicts Max’s interaction with Annie, a friendly lawyer, as she takes his cab to reach her office. In addition to foreshadowing the climax of the movie, where Max has to take action to protect her from Vincent, it allows him to develop as a character and gain our interest. We find out about his dreams of starting a limousine company, and his kindly nature is highlighted when he allows Annie to keep his favourite photograph. Annie is also a well-rounded individual, as she listens sympathetically to Max, and tells him about the various problems she faces when working on her cases. This ensures that the audience wants the two to start a relationship, creating a reason for them to continue watching in the hope that they escape and get their happy ending.

Another character who manages to be memorable in spite of a lack of screen time is Felix, the mobster who has hired Vincent to carry out his various assassinations. Max meets him when he is forced by Vincent to assume his identity and find the information on the last two victims. Felix provides this exposition in the form of a monologue in which he compares himself to Santa Claus and Vincent to Black Peter, a figure who punishes naughty children.  This analogy is both childish and threatening, but manages to convey the key points effectively – Vincent’s targets represent a threat to Felix, and he is being hired to “punish” them. With his offbeat yet menacing personality and a brief mention of his family that serves to humanise him, Felix stands out as a unique and interesting character, and his delivery of the key information is highly intriguing. As a result, the information that Max and the audience need to know stands out, because it is being given in a manner that makes it worth hearing.

Make the Action Sequences Exciting – Because it focuses on characters and atmosphere in a bid to generate suspense, Collateral uses action sequences sparingly. However, when they do occur, they are intense in nature. Most of the violent scenes in the movie are due to the actions of Vincent, who casually carries out his various kills with a high level of brutality. Just after performing his second hit, Vincent returns to find that a pair of muggers have stolen his briefcase from Max. He follows them and shoots them both. Once he has retrieved the item, he notices one of the men writing in pain, and shoots again to finish him off. As well as setting up how important the briefcase is to Vincent, it shows that he reacts to setbacks with a cold efficiency, as the severity of his retaliation is unnecessary, even given the obnoxious nature of the victims and the potential repercussions of their theft. In a very brief and one-sided burst of action, the extent of the threat which Vincent poses to Max is made disturbingly clear.

After the slow-building tension of the first two acts, Collateral climaxes with an elaborate chase sequence, as Max tries to rescue Annie from Vincent. As Vincent cuts the electricity at Annie’s office, the darkness increases the tension of the scene, as it makes it harder for Annie to get out, and places her at a disadvantage. Meanwhile, Vincent uses mirrors to track his target, and this allows him to move without her knowing where he is and what he is doing. Vincent’s increased freedom in this confined space forces Max to react quickly if he wants to save Annie. In chase scenes, the villain should usually have an ability that makes it harder for the heroes to defeat them, and Vincent’s experience and composure make him a formidable opponent.

Conclusion

Collateral is a textbook example of how to make an efficient and engrossing thriller. It uses the classic formula of an initially uncommitted protagonist threatened by a unique and unyielding enemy and forced to take action. However, it does so in an original manner, with its focus on a well-developed lead character and an implacable but fascinating foe. The supporting cast is memorable, and the scenes are directed well, allowing for the escalation in tension that is integral to the story. Overall, it proves that the simplest thriller concepts can be the most impressive if they are well written and contain great characters.